Once upon a time, I had a sweater.
Sure, I have sweaters now. All shades of the rainbow and textures from silky smooth to knotty knit. Even after living in deserts for two years, my sweater collection has grown, but none have matched that sweater.
Black, simple and understated, it had a perfectly draping cowl neck that both kept me cozy and kept me looking fine. Sleeves long enough to wrap my wrists in wooly warmth and a fit that clung to my hips and forgave the odd lumps and bumps we all find popping up as the winter progresses. This sweater fit me like a glove and was, for all intents and purposes, my woven BFF... who also made me look hot.
As spring approached, I released this knitted wonder to some much needed R&R, tucking it away in cedar-scented storage until next year's unveiling.
Or so I thought.
Next year came around and, like a fair-weathered friend, I failed to notice the sweater's absence from my winter wardrobe. Until the day she wore it to class.
She was my former friend. She is the only person blocked from seeing my on Facebook. Much like the duration of our friendship, the prospect of reuniting with this nut job would bring far too much drama to my door. I'm usually a devoted friend to the end, but her tendency for the manic wore my willpower to that of a paper doilie - the Walgreens brand. I just didn't hold up to her overflow of bullshit.
That day in class, my attention span drove me to look for anything - read everything - more interesting than the lecture at hand. And my eyes spotted my familiar friend: not her, but it.
She was wearing my favorite sweater.
And I knew it.
I knew it because that sweater hadn't been made in several years. I knew it because she'd never worn it before and we'd been in school together for several years now. I knew it because I'm a woman and we just know these things.
Vowing to be as mature as possible, I wrote a note.
It read: "Hey, that's a great sweater. It totally reminds me of one I used to have."
She replied: "That's because it is yours."
I replied: "Then why are you wearing it?"
She replied: "Because you gave it away to Goodwill and I took it from the donation bag."
Now, whether or not this was true is up to the history gods. I can't recall any such Goodwill exchange happening. I can't imagine a then sincere friend going through a bag of donated goods and not asking "Hey, what's your favorite sweater doing in here?" before deciding to take it for herself. But I also can't say that didn't happen. Because weirder things have definitely happened.
And I'm not here to write about fights over sweaters - which didn't happen because I let the subject drop. I'm not that petty... I hope. I'm here to talk about the weird things that happens in life - the shtick that makes your jaw hang and face scrunch and your brain lapse for anything more than WTF.
Sweaters appearing on exfriends included. Or meeting someone from my east coast hometown atop a mountain in Alaska. Or only making out with Canadians when I traveled through Europe. All have happened in my life along with many other randomly weird things. While they're bizarre as all get out at the moment, they're hilarious later on. And that's why I love my life.
Give me your weirdest, I can handle it.
46 Holla Backs:
1) Pretty colors!
2) I think if I lived in Gabon, I would still own hundreds of sweaters. They hold so much magic.
3) You're far less petty than I am. While I would not have pursued the matter directly, I would've resented the hell out of her and been super passive aggressive about it... you know, cause I'm mature like that.
This is nothing like your sweater story, but it is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. When I was married to my first husband, we lived with his parents for 3 weeks while waiting for our home to be finished. His parents had a dog that I could not stand. He was alway yapping--even at 3:00 in the morning when the mail truck would pull in to the post office next door, waking the whole household. Also, he was very jealous of me, because he wanted to be #1 with my hubby, and no longer was. As a result he was always growling at me. Between that and him waking me every morning at 3:00 am, at the end of the 3 weeks , I was fed up with that dog.
As we left my inlaws house that day, I said to my husband, "I hate that dog; I wish he were dead!"
We drove to my mother's house about 20 minutes away and hadn't been there 10 minutes before the phone rang for my Hubby. It was his sister calling to tell him their dog had died!
I once bumped into a girl that I knew from Georgia while filling my car with gas at a station in a small town in Florida.
Also, I was once told that I looked like Adonis. But I think my grandmother was just trying to make me feel good about myself.
Your sweater is a true testament to the absurd curveballs life sometimes throws at us.
I have too many to count, but I will name two.
After a long period of solitude and loneliness in Nameless Country #1, I went to Nameless Country #2. And almost immediately hooked up with someone...who was on vacation from Country #1.
A friend who practically owned my shoulder because she cried on it so frequently, a friend who often annoyed me with how fake she could be in public, accused me and Lady Hem of being a "ladder climbers."
Me. Unprentious, work-until-I-fucking-pass-out-because-I=don't-want-any-fucking-help-along-the-way me. This girl had crashed on my sofa, worn my entire wardrobe, spent years as my almost constant companion, and when it came down to it, she didn't know me at all.
Oops. "Unpretentious."
Years ago my father bought my mother the EXACT hat, blouse and jacket combination that he got her the previous Christmas. Same colors and everything. He said he thought it "looked just like her". We died laughing, and it's still a family story 15 years later.
Secretia
No. No no no no. You should have been all, "Bitch, get out ma clothes!" and then stripped her in the middle of the class all tough like.
...
Yeah ok your way was classier.
WOW. when i see people wearing sweaters i own, i get super angry. i know because it just happened to me.
and jeez, theres to much weird crap that happens in my life for me to even pinpoint anything at all. although i did find my eyebrow scissors in the shower today, and the only other person who took a shower in there was my little brother. i obviously don't use my eyebrow scissors in the shower. so i dunno what that means, but it was weird and everything.
I took a huge load of my kids' old clothes to Goodwill. The next week I was at a kiddo's house and her brother marched down the stairs wearing one of our donated outfits. I know it was ours because the pants were ripped.
Just ditched one of my friends on facebook too. She had a big tantrum online, bitched about a few of us, called us immature for talking about her (?).
Who needs it?
Not quite the same but me and one of my best friends used to turn up at school wearing the same clothes completely by accident. It got so embarrassing we would call each other to check we didn't match in the morning. Now we are a few years older though we have developed different styles but I still love her to pieces.
Kate xx
I don't have a 'weird' story, but I do have an embarrassing clothes story: The church I attended with my mom when I was little had a 'Nearly New' shop. My mom volunteered there to receive in-kind payment to clothe her kids.
Walking down the hall at church, a VERY snobby girl pointed loudly to me and said to her mother, "Mom! Look! She's wearing my old dress!"
Mortified.
Maybe still scarred.
Lots of WTF moments in my smaller-than-small town.
One of the local hair stylists stopped by my work last week to tell me that a guy that lives around the corner from me, said that he stands outside on his porch naked in the morning & that I like to watch him. AS-FUCKING-IF!
I immediately ewwwwwwed & OMG'd, which is very mature, but alas it's all that would come out.
So now I'm convinced that he's a pervert...I mean why else would he tell this girl that he stands naked (gag.gag.gag) outside, when it isn't true? Oh & he fancies that I like to watch....crowning WTF moment of the week.
small world for sure
At my school everyone used to wear exactly the same thing every single day. How weird is that?
Hello my friendly. I'm new to this place, but I have been having a read through some of your back catalogue and you have a really great blog going here.
Now me personally? I would have chinned the bitch. I don't normally advocate violence, but if someone stole my favourite scarf, blood would be spilled. You should apply this to your sweater.
You now have to hunt her down like the dog she is.
It’s your only option.
I once got a wrong number text message, and sent one back informing them of it. I didn't get a reply, so I assumed all was done with.
Six months later, I got another wrong number txt message, not realizing it was the same number. I sent a reply letting them know of reaching the wrong number, and again, thought it was over with. A few minutes later, a friend of mine (who never calls unless it's important) called me.
Apparently the reply I had sent to the first wrong number txt message didn't go through until six months later, when I got the second wrong number txt message.
The person who sent me the txt? My friend's boyfriend.
Strangeness.
If I could think properly after spending the last 29 days deep in a cave chained to my laptop writing a 50,000-word novel for NaNoWriMo, I would share a weird experience. But I am brain dead. However, I just couldn't stay away any longer - I missed you too much! Love the holiday decor on your blog - quite festive.
It's not wierd. Okay, yeah it was. The wife and I were at the Musee Rodin in Paris. I had hurt my knee the day before in Versailles. She went to the upper floor while I sketched and wrote in a book I'd brought with me. She came down the stairs chatting with someone. It was a woman we'd met while at a wedding in Ohio while we were still living in Texas and had since moved to Georgia. My Mind=Blown.
-Joshua
I have always known that I would marry a Paul. Like I wrote about it when I was seven years old in my diary.
So, when I married a Paul, was it Meant To Be, or did I just make it happen to fit my bizarro world?
Your writing makes me happy.
Seriously, weird crap doesn't happen to me that much. I've been leading a very very ordinary life lately. Which is boring. So I plan to turn weird. Let's see... =D
Keep the weird stuff coming! :)
Love the new digs.
The best I got is that I was raised in the COUNTRY of North Carolina and ran into an ex-boyfriend from high school in Seattle, Washington.
1/2 way across the world and I gotta run into my ex from the country.
Thanks fate ... thanks a lot.
I would have liked to have seen a big ol' cat fight right then and there in the classroom. The only problem is, the end of the scene would show the sweater in tatters, where nobody wins. I admire your restraint.
I had a very similar experience with a pair of boots I donated to Good Will. It broke my heart. I accidentally donated them as they were my favorite camel leather boots that fit perfectly, I could walk for miles in them, and they were only $30. As soon as I got home and realized my mistake I drove back there hoping to at least buy them back, I was prepared to offer $100 cash for them. They were gone. I saw a friend wearing them two days later and I begged her to give them back to me. She did not. We are no longer friends. It was heartbreaking and I still have not found a replacement.
Also, when I moved to Texas I didn't know a soul. I meet my next door neighbor a week or so later who happened to be one of my best friends growing up. Strange how things like that happen.
Quite frankly....... What a bitch!
See, I am that petty. I would have had to have that sweater back. I would not rest until I had that sweater back. But I have issues.
I used to have a friend who would go out and buy exactly the same thing I had (clothes, home furnishings, accessories, etc). At first I was flattered, then it just got weird. I'd go to her house and see the same mirror hanging on her wall or I'd meet her for coffee and she'd be wearing the same coat and scarf. Yes petty that I cared so much but I felt invaded!
I know it's not the same as your sweater story but still... strange!
Visiting from Sits! I'll be back!
I'm just finally figuring out what a small world it is. I take the boy I'm seeing to my sister's bar where we meet his dad. My sister walks up and can't believe that one of her favorite regulars is my boy's dad. Taking that a step further, I'm sitting at lunch with some coworkers talking about the boy. Coworker asks his last name. I tell her and she says is his dad Kevin? I say yeah and she says, does he work at X? I say yeah and she says, I had the BIGGEST crush on him in the first grade.... WTH???
The weirdest had to be when we were sitting in Bally's Steakhouse in Vegas and my sister's ex-boyfriend from Pennsylvania came up to us and was our server. I thought she was going to die. Then we see another of her close friends from childhood at the Vegas airport that same trip in front of us in line!
BTW, I woulda punched the bitch over a favorite sweater..... :)
I'm so glad to be back! I missed you!
The sweater story kills me. It made me think of the time that my then BFF (who isn't my friend anymore because she decided it was okay to spread a STD, but that's another story) showed up at my college graduation party wearing a necklace that my boyfriend gave me. Apparently she forgot she had it on, and then refused to admit that she stole it. She later mailed it back to me telling me that I had cursed it with my bad JuJu. Awesome.
You want I should off her and get you that awesomeness that is your sweater back?
Well, I went and hung out with my cousin and her boyfriend, and he had a friend over. Me and that friend got close for that night a bit, and he was probably almost the first guy I ever even made out with.
I used to have a best from kindergarten until grade nine, then we stopped talking - but, she used to have a best friend named Kevin and we prank called him once but I never met him.
I met him that I went to my cousin house, and he was that boy that I got close with =) It was so weird, we just started asking if we knew certain people and we were like YOU WERE THAT PERSON ON THE PHONE?
oh wow...I so get that whole attatchment to clothing thing because - I'm attatched to a coat that way it hurts.
Weird things? oh you will love this story...
Me - first time I ever decide to buy something a bit sexy to wear in the bedroom for my then other half. I went and bought a sexy little maid's outfit. You know the one. The one that when you bend over shows the hottest butt ever (in your head at least- you hope)
So.....
My Mom is packing for her vacation and I'm sitting on her bed chatting away with her about how excited she is. And I am not kidding you....I am not joking here. She pulled out of her damn drawer the EXACT maid's outfit I had bought to wear myself. HER drawer. the EXACT one.
I never got to wear it. Something about ''oh hey my Mom owns this outfit to wear for my Stepdad'' thought totally frigging killed my enthusiasm to wear it. Thanks Mom, I'll be adding that one to the therapy list. Pfft.
That is weird. I am always amazed at the odd coincidences that happen in life. Once my mother-in-law was visiting me, took a wrong turn, and drove 2 hours out of her way. She stopped to ask directions and there was her son at the same gas station!
hmm...let's see.
In grade 2 I went to school in Nova Scotia. My family moved around to many cities and provinces and ended up in Mississauga,Ont. In Grade 7 we ended up in the same class!
In grade 3/4 in Ottawa,Ont I was in a class with a boy. We ended up in Highschool together in St.Catharines,Ont. Weird?
Also, I had a short relationship with a guy and soon found out he was married and stopped talking to him.
A year later I moved in next door to a woman who had left and was divorcing her husband for always cheating...need I say more?!
Yes!! It was HIM!!
wow coincidences always amaze me and make me think there is a greater force at work...
Hey, where are you lady?
I don't know you and a virgin to blogging,..... reading the responds to your blog, confirms the small world after all song :)..... I used to be adventerous and was strongly urged quite often to go and watch an ex- coworker perform....live. ....(we were telemarketers at the time, so she new I was money motivated).. Sooooooo I went, I saw, and I tried to conquer the same fete only I was too intimate of a person to let some random men touch me for a couple bucks......Any way I was introduced to some chic named "STAR" (who I felt like was going to be like a new best friend or stripping mentor/ me, her protegy or some kind of something..) and she kindly gave me and two of my friends I invited to try this dance/strip thing out with me our daning attire (new with tags) or lack thereof,.. and ( well u need to know my dad was a dead beat and had several children whom I never knew or heard of because I didnt know much about him but his name.... another story), but for some reason I felt the need to ask this girl her fathers name, while she's half nude at that.... and she said some off brand name and was snoody and I lost all thought of the intial close relationship we were going to build through my soon to be new found career that abruptly ended after a guy grabbed a hand full of my booty cheek...... That was enogh for me........so some years later I met my Dad, he tells me I have siblings (one of whom was just killed a month prior), their names, ages, calls them to come and meet me...only 1 brother shows up, but he (my bro) then stays in touch and brings my sister to meet me and low and behold its the Stripper Diva Chic,...(who told people her sisters father on her moms side was her dad).....I know that was a mouthful....but thanx for your blog and letting me post I stored this away for quite sometime and I guess I needed to share this WEIRDNESS!!
I will say this. i have been married for what seems eternity and has only been 7 years..whatever about that because it could take forever..anyhow, so as a gift my sassy friend who is loaded and is like a dirty martini got me this beautiful lingerie piece from La Perla. It was sexy and rediculously pricey...again, she was drunk when shopping apparently. Anyhow, so I get married, wear it a few times and then just like that it's gone...never to be found....until one day I go over to my sister's house. She says, ya, go to my room and you can borrow a sweater (at this time she was 15/16)...I go there and what do I see all in pieces and cut into a cami??? My fucking Lingerie...
What could I do? What could I say??? I had to resolve the conflict quick and tactfully...I took her lipstick and wrote on the inside of her newest prada bag...Fuck OFF!!
No Jokes...
stop by my blog sometimes...or join the panty pyramid...www.pantypyramid.blogspot.com
Well, that's just weird. Friends are a lot of work, with or without a sweater issue...
miss you ...
Just stopping by to say hi - from your newest follower!! I can't BELIEVE I didn't find you sooner!
~WM
If someone touched my favourite piece of clothing I would break their arms. I am very territorial like that.
I miss you and I hope you are doing well. C U soon? Hugs- G
When I was in high school, this thing used to happen to me all the time, except with girlfriends.
Friends suck.
You must be a busy gal. Hope you had a Merry Christmas and Hope your New year is as made of awesome as you are!
Where are you? I have loved reading your blog posts, and now I must have a new one. You are my kinda gal.
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