10. It never ends, proving there is such a thing as too big despite the popular opinion of Texans.
9. There's a high risk of being permanently frozen by secondhand hairspray application
8. The cows keep looking at me funny
7. All my ex's live here
6. Okay, none of my ex's live here but IF I dated a Texan he'd be on the fast track to becoming an ex (because he'd be Texan) and hence, all men in Texas are potential ex's
5. Dirty hotel rooms, like the one I'm sitting in now. It's nearly impossible to stay overnight in a hotel room without touching anything directly but I'm trying. My dog isn't. She's licking a mystery spot on the carpet.
4. When you step out of your car, the temperature can range from 40 to 110 and that's just silly.
3. Greatest Starbucks deficiency in the lower 48.
2. If 90% of the people you see are wearing camo, you have to ask yourself how many you aren't seeing.
1. This is my 4th time driving through it which qualifies as living purgatory.
As I wrote this, my dog's attention shifted from the mystery spot on the carpet to staring nose to nose with the mystery dog in the mirror to then staring at a mystery spot on the wall above the bed. WTF is up there? It's beyond disturbing. But then so is Texas.
Sorry Texans... except I'm not because I just really don't like that state. I do enjoy Austin, but any "proper Texan" wants to disown it so there goes the one thing I had going for me.
If you can't tell, I'm driving cross country this week, heading east for the new job. I'm a beyond crappy blogger this week. I promise to visit all of you as soon as I'm not behind the wheel 12 hours a day. Our country is too big to blog.
25 Holla Backs:
My dad lives in Texas. The up side? He lives in Austin. But my escapades around the state have left me feeling much like you.
A place where eating on a piece of wax paper on the table happens at popular restaurants and BOTH men and women actually do go out in public wearing cowboy hats, Wranglers and the biggest frigging belt buckle they can find, feels like the Twilight Zone.
But hey, I'm Canadian so it IS kind of like the Twilight Zone for me.
Sass, all that driving, you be careful, don't be behind the wheel sleepy-eyed. Be safe
Secretia
2. If 90% of the people you see are wearing camo, you have to ask yourself how many you aren't seeing.
Too funny. I have never been to Texas but my sister was born there...
The cows stare there? Fuckin A!
I'd be in an out as quick as a I came, if there were no starbucks.
Also, congrats on the job ;) Meet some hot people for me.
Having never spent any real time in Texas I find it a big mystery. I would like to try their BBQ though.
#2 is my favorite! Still cleaning up the coffee that spewed out my nose.
I too have driven across Texas. I happen to really have an affinity for San Antonio - of course it could have to do with a certain Airman I met while visiting there. All I can say about it was "HOT".
Anywho, best of luck for the rest of your trip. I look forward to reading about your adventures!
I've only been in the airports in Texas, so I don't like it or dislike it.
But cows...cows stare in every state.
The BBQ is awesome, as is Austin, but the rest of the state pretty much blows. Why can't Austin and the awesome BBQ be in a much cooler state?
I lived in Texas when I was a kid.... Should I be admitting that?
The hubby and I moved to Houston after Katrina and I cried every-single-day for a year.
I lived in Fort Worth for three years - got hit 6 times in 5 months in Texas. Texas drivers are HORRIBLE. Not one of those was my fault either. Ugh. I do miss a lot of things about Texas though.
#2 is too hilarious! - G
You obviously are not driving through Houston or anywhere near me! Houston probably has more Starbucks than ANYWHERE and no one here wears camo.
Come visit me....I'll show you.
I like #2! (That sounds weird.)
Did you know that Texas (or is Austin, I can't remember) has the highest divorce rate in the US and therefore it is FULL of stepmums?! (and stepdads to I expect!) I know this from my Stepmother blogging escapades!
So they're not only your ex's, they're everyone else's to!
LBM xxx
P.S - Good luck with the new job!
SO funny...I have been there plenty and the one time I drove through it, it seemed to last FOREVER. Planes from that point forward.
Stay safe and good travels.
Drive safely.
Texas makes my ass twitch.
I don't like large belt buckles, I don't like camo and I don't like the obsessive passion people have for the Dallas Cowboys.
Get out while you still can!
"...the temperature can range from 40 to 110 and that's just silly."
This made me smile!
I've been to Texas a couple times and really have no desire to go back. Traffic in and around Dalls is another thing that's just silly.
I don't know much about Texas and I don't really care, but I did like watching 'Dallas' as a kid and wearing a cowboy hat like JR was cool. Please note WAS cool. Enjoy your trip!
I laughed so hard at: Okay, none of my ex's live here but IF I dated a Texan he'd be on the fast track to becoming an ex (because he'd be Texan) and hence, all men in Texas are potential ex's.
The only place I've ever liked in Texas is San Antonio.
I love me some Texas.
Except for Houston: that place smells like ass and that pretty much sums up Houston.
I'm not sure I detest Texas as much as you, but I'm not much of a roadtripper. How bad can an airport and 4 star hotel be, ya know? Congrats on the new job. Be safe, Sassy! Sounds like your dog may not be up to the task of attacking, if necessary :)
Driving through many states gives good material for blogging topics. I wish you would briefly date some one in Texas just to have an "ex living in texas." I mean..you know. Good luck with your travels!
OK, cross Texas off my list of places to visit ;-)
Don't even think about what's on the hotel ceiling and how it got there!!
Here's a travel tip -- if you can find them, stay at B&Bs. I've never stayed in a bad one, and you get breakfast in the morning :-) I'm sure there are B&Bs that are pet-friendly, so your dog can have an enjoyable stay too :-)
Kelly
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