As unique a recipe for each individual as our genetic code, we all want our special someone to dance dirty once in a while. And the way we each go about heating things up is, well... h-o-t.
A friend - yes, yet another friend because it's never lil' ol' me we're talking about - recently pulled the blinds on how she gets sexy simmering. When her man is away, this kitten plays... with the camera.
Men are visual creatures, as she pointed out, and sexy photos are sass incarnate. Playful, impish and full of lacy lingerie - ooh la la, my lady is a tramp.
In a good way, of course. Because this is what we do, or what we should be doing.
For every relationship I hear about that's circling the drain, I wonder to what lengths those people have gone to. Granted, when the pilot light is out, even the tiniest thong won't kindle it back to a flame. But when a spark remains, all it takes it a little fuel to get the fire roaring again.
Worried your man doesn't look at you the same way? Well, give him something to look at!! And, umm... document it. I promise you he will prefer your nudey glamour shot over a run of the mill porn mag. And ladies, that's a good thing! It means he's still into you, above anyone else.
And boys, please feel free to step in here. I know at least a few men read this blog, so speak up.
Okay, so you're timid and afraid of the horrors your 2x2" digital camera screen may reveal. Valid concern. So please, heed my advice - work it, own it and don't hold back.
Really, stop blushing and follow these recommendations:
1. Set the scene: Yes, a scene. We're talking candles, plush bedding... or you sprawled on the kitchen island, maybe. This isn't a one and done activity, so pick a spot in your house for this time, and consider what room will be the setting for your next solo photo shoot.
2. Dress the part: Dust off your lingerie and maybe invest in some more. We all want to look crazy hot in a garter belt, so buy one silly! This is the perfect time to work out the kinks of what to do with those snaps... don't want them snapping off in sensitive directions when he asks for a live show.
3. Work what your mama gave you: Okay, forget your mama, but keep in mind to play up the parts of your body he loves the most. If your man is into your rack, well then rack 'em up. More of a booty man? Well, let's go around the back, shall we?
4. Get in the mood: Think about how you want him to feel and feel that, too. Or watch porn first.
5. Position yourself: These are still shots we're talking about, so use that to your advantage. Two words: hand mirror. Make sure you're in a flattering pose and it's one he'll find sexy. Keep it easy in the beginning so you're not rushing from hitting the timer button on the camera to pulling your legs behind your head.
6. Start off tasteful: You have plenty of time to get downright dirty. Begin with something innocent, demure and sweet. He'll be charmed and you'll feel more at ease. If all goes well, you can let the smut roll in round two.
7. Be comfortable: Please, drink my ladies! Don't hold back. Get a little tipsy - or a lot - and you'll relax into the role. What role, you ask? The role of slutty housewife you're portraying. You don't actually have to be naughty (yet) but you need to exude it. After you see how great the pics are - and how truly hot you are - you'll be the woman in those pics.
8. Judge your audience: This is best kept to committed relationships. If you can't trust him, don't give him nudey shots. And under no circumstances, never ever never do we sext. We're over 16, so no need for any man to have our privy parts on a portable media device. Unless he's your husband... I guess.
Still, can't you picture your husband getting wasted and thinking it's a brilliant idea to prove to his bros how hot his wife is? Ugh... in the end, these are men we're giving our self-made porn to, so bear that in mind.
Oh! And my last rec... EDIT! Delete the hell out of those things. Only give him the best of the best. And then delete the negatives.
And now let's check the temp... yep, sass is piping hot once again. Phew, it was getting chilly. Now tell me, what gets you hot?
24 Holla Backs:
Some great advice here ladies. We like a bit of visual stimulation. And making a sex tape together is also supposed to be great fun.
I REALLY hope a lot of ladies take your advice, and if anyone needs them critiqued I'm here! Hah.
Sass this was one hell of a hot post and excellent advice!
Yeah, all that stuff that you just said? It works for me... like you said, much better than Pornos anyday!
Despite the fact that this is one of your typically hilarious and sexy posts that I love, you have hit the nail on a HUGE problem that women tend to stick their head in the sand about. I have worked on so many divorces where women "forgot" their husbands for their children or whatever and it resulted in men looking elsewhere, and they normally start with porn. I'm not saying it's all the womans fault - life happens. But I can't tell you the number of women I have heard utter, in their shock, I quit being a wife......... and men saying "she forgot I existed".
Oh boys, do go on! I love when men tell me I'm right.
Step-fab, you're fab. xo
Is it warm in here or is it just Sass? Damn girl... now if only I had a macho man to send some dirty pics to I'd be on it after this post!!!! ;)
The thing about dirty pictures is that they are just as hot to make as to see. Great advice. I have a feeling you will keep me entertained. :)
This is a great post. I really needed it! Though I hate to admit it, I've been a little lazy when it comes to pleasing my husband. I need to get back on board because we used to have a lot of fun and I'm ready to start having more!
great post!
Oh my partner and I have done this... for each other!! Yes honestly :D
I've done the sexy pics for him and well, he returned the favor and did some back. How hot is that? Plus it meant we shared equal trust, kind of a we both have collateral kind of relationship. Although trust between us is solid anyway. This is just one way to spice things up! Great post Sassy!! x
Yes, I'd say you're on fire after that.
I think taking pictures when you're with your guy...doing whatever it is you like to do ;)... then looking at them together is pretty hot. Of course we're talking digital, so you'd have to delete them when you're done...but it's still fun. (If both parties are agreeable and the camera comes out with permission first, of course.)
Agreed and BRAVA!
The hottest "session" my husband and I ever had was one afternoon he came home from work and I told him the camera was broken. He sighed, angry I had broken the camera. Instead he got a few selective shots of some intimate poses.
HOT - HOT - HOT. He loved it!
Yankee girl - get on it and report back!!
Mesina - I <3 your husband
Otherworldlyone - we're now talking documenting the act itself, yes? welcome, my dear, welcome! a bit trickier to ensure a pretty outcome but i think i'm up to the challenge. any tips?
Oh Hannah, well played you little minx!
It's not about pretty. Point and click. I've found that what you think isn't pretty, guys see in a completely different light. For instance...I'm thinking, "Gawd, look at my thighs...no." And what he's saying is "Wow, look at that angle...you can see everything." ;)
My ex especially loved the "sexy eyes" looking up while giving a bj. That's always an easy one for your guy to take.
Very hot indeed Sassy Girl!
My hubby would enjoy the pictures I'm sure. But since my colleague last year forgot her cellphone in the classroom and the whole student body saw her naked with a feather boa I'm kind of hesitant. No need to say she is no longer working at this school. Her poor kid had to finish the year with kids that had seen his mother's youknowwhat. Yikes...
I think I'll do the show LIVE for now!
I love taking those kind of photos. Plus, years later, when I can wear my boobs for a scarf, I can remember that once, they were boobs, and not a tennis ball in a sock ;)
Oh, now lets talk about the best way to take advantage of the video cameras all our laptops come with these days...I mean, not that I know. I mean,--What?
But back to your current blog. All great advice!
I've done this before and the only warning I can give to women is to make sure that there is a short gap between your sexy photoshoot and the time hubs/boyfriend gets home because you yourself will get all worked up in the process. If you like grocery shopping while you are frisky, then hey, do the photoshoot well before your husband gets home. Otherwise you might want to plan your time accordingly because you will be obsessed all day.
You are always piping hot!
yeah i was going to say pics are good but you do have to trust your audience..too many peeps have gotten burned celebs and non-celebs.. i dread thinking where my sexy poloroids are on the net
This is a freaking A+ idea! In fact, it's like in that movie "A Christmas Story" where the teacher is putting plusses all the way across the board and then onto the walls around the room... except it's not a kid and that teacher, it's my sexy lady role playing something similar and a lot more fun.
wahahah thats right girl EDIT i loveit
You got me all hot, wait a minute I have to plug in the battery charger! !
Thanks Sassy!
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